Currently listening to: Crosswinds by J. Tillman
This song is dedicated to my (now) past boyfriend. He is a wonderful human being. We were best friends before we were together--I had no idea he even liked me. We were both seeing other people at that point. He had ended things with his girl for a while, but just as he ended it with her, I started seeing a guy who lived near us, and then he got back together with his girl... but eventually he broke it off and I realized how much he liked me and that I actually might like him as more than my best friend. The story of how we ACTUALLY got together is quite hysterical - although I'm not going to post it here, so comment if you want to hear it and I'll tell it to you over email or some other way :) Seriously, this stuff doesn't even happen in movies, it's so funny and awkward. Anyway, we had to end it finally because of distance after study abroad was over. Both of us wish we didn't have to end it, because we both still love each other, but we knew this was the only way to preserve our friendship.
Is there someone you think about every day? Is there someone who makes you realize that everyone has their flaws, but theirs is that they care TOO much? Is there someone who forces you to open up, yet makes you feel that you never have to go out of your way to impress them, because they're impressed with you just being you?
It's been a little hard lately, we've both accepted that we're going to have to move on, at least for a little while (I plan on moving to the city he lives in after college, because a lot of my family lives there) and we can still visit maybe once or twice a year during school, but I think he's moving on a bit faster than I am. I went through this long period where all I could think about was how much I missed him, and I couldn't sleep, I couldn't write, I couldn't do anything. I'm doing better now, I'm keeping myself busy, but whenever I have a chunk of down time, I find myself getting sad over him again. If anyone has any words of wisdom or advice, for me or for others, please share :)
In other news, Great Expectations has been good so far. I'm about halfway through, but the one thing I noticed about Charles Dickens is that he has a real sense for human character. He not only gets physical appearance, but he describes how that appearance is affected by the person's personality and history, and how that affects their mannerisms and role in the story. It's really interesting to read.
The song I posted is Crosswinds by J. Tillman. The lyrics are sparse, but I think it's some of the most beautiful songwriting I've heard. "We'll find each other where we promised." This line rings true to my life right now--that's how I imagine my boyfriend and I working out. In my head, we'll be separate during college, I'll move to his city for med school, where I plan to go as long as I get in, and we'll take it from there. Everyone wants to meet "the one," but it's so awful that I've found that person so soon in my life, because now I know nobody will be able to compare.
Oh, and I shopped away my feelings. I did get some pretty cool finds though, from one of my favorite haunts: the Nordstrom Rack. These Sam Edelman Karla Boots, Born Crown wedges, Cole Haan Air Whitley boots (a little risky fashion-wise, but I think I can pull it off) and Free People hoodie were all at least half off. Not so bad, eh?
Also, I'm pleased to announce that I more or less have a plot for "Brave at Heart," the working title of my Harry Potter prequel, book 1! I'm halfway through writing chapter 2, I should probably actually be doing that right now... but I have it completely outlined up to chapter 7, and then somewhat outlined the rest of the way through. I won't post it here yet, but if you want to see it let me know, I can send it by email. Check the Harry Potter page, because I'll be adding excerpts from time to time. I also added pictures of my characters. Look or don't look, it's your choice!
Well, that's all for now. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to chatting with you!